


With All The Colors Of The Rainbow

by Atma



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Brothel Jokes, Cabarets, Campfire Makeouts, Drugs, F/F, Food, Marijuana, Misbehaving Teenagers, Multi, Shit It's The Cops, Threesome - F/F/F, bad singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:46:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atma/pseuds/Atma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ymir brings home a batch of pot butter and cooks a huge feast for Christa and Sasha so they can enjoy their first high together. Stoner shenanigans ensue as they mill about the market and meet some of Ymir's old friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With All The Colors Of The Rainbow

**Author's Note:**

> Contains an immense amount of headcanon for Ymir's past during her thieving years that will most likely be Jossed hardcore but OH WELL THAT IS HOW IT GOES. 
> 
> Also kids, please be way more responsible than Ymir if you toke up. Thank you!

There we days where Ymir seemed off to the rest of her squad mates. Gone was the loud, snarky asshole they came to knew and tolerate. Gone was the woman who would ask random invasive questions with a shit-eating grin on her face. Gone was she whom laughed loud and deep at the follies of her comrades.

Instead they had someone who looked like Ymir. It had to be her long-lost good twin sister or something. Because there she would be, smiling soft at everything, eyes half closed and glazed over, looking lost in an endless maze of colors and daydreams. She would whistle tunes she heard down at the local theater or attempt to sing some silly cabaret song and forget half the lyrics and maybe accompany it with an attempt at dancing. Usually she'd just fall over and start cracking up, staring up at the sky, thinking how wonderful the clouds looked. At dinner she'd pick food off everyone's plates, hungrier than normal, chewing slow and savoring every bite. When bedtime came, she'd gently twirl a lock of Christa's hair in her fingers, getting lost for what felt like years in the spirals it formed and the range of golds that shone off it from the moonlight seeping in. A smokey, grassy like scent clung deep inside of her shirt that nobody else could recognize.

For just a day, she'd be this pleasant fool, relaxed and taking in the world within the walls for what it was. It was if titans didn't exist outside her little bubble of happiness, asking people to join her in just helping her understand the meaning of life as it only could be found in analyzing how Mikasa shadowboxed or hanging upside down by their maneuver gear in a nearby tree and swinging around. The first time this happened, everyone worried, because who the hell are you and what have you done with Ymir? But as she woke up from a deep, long sleep the next day, they found her slowly reverting to her usual mischief and soon learned to just let her be whenever this happened.

To put it more simply, Ymir was high as fuck.

When training got really slow and no work or mission requests came in for a while, Ymir would sneak out at sunset, wrapped in a cloak with a bandanna around her mouth and cheeks to obscure herself, carrying a small satchel full of savings from her military paycheck and would make her way towards the shitty side of the local street markets. Nobody ever gave her shit; they all knew her from before she joined the military. If anyone tried anything, all she'd have to do is glare, maybe show them she was armed with a dagger and would not mind using it against them at all, and they'd back off. She was firmly in the school of thought that advocated shanking bitches as needed.

She'd greet the prostitutes and maybe give them a coin or two after chatting a bit and making sure they felt safe and healthy. Ymir liked talking to them when she could; their honesty and shamelessness were goddamn refreshing to hear after listening to others around her try to hide shit or lie to themselves. She wouldn't ever dare hire one and sleep with them, she was a bit too awkward for that, but they made good friends and they deserved a steady pay like anyone else. After catching up with them, she'd enter a small door in the side of an alley and make her way to the counter inside.

The woman at the counter would just smile and ask how much pot she wanted and in what form. Zero bullshit, just purely business, just the way Ymir liked it. Not like those other dispenser assholes who would try to upsell her or try to pass off cooking herbs as the real deal or the one time they tried to mug her after the sell and she had to stab a dude and it got blood on her bud and she was really really mad because that one tasted like shit. The owner loved Ymir almost like some kind of bizarre, adopted little stoner daughter, since Ymir would often tip her for being honest and would stare down anyone looking to start shit. This often earned the freckled woman a pinch or two extra free so it was all worth it in the end.  
“Ah, Ymir, you're looking a bit more haggard and skinny than usual. Have you been eating and sleeping right, dear?” asked the owner as Ymir walked in and greeted her. 

“Wha--? Oh, uh, I've been trying! Not always easy when you have higher-ranked assholes screaming at you about push ups and such so it's not like I can even complain. But I do try, I swear!” said Ymir, trying her best not to blush. Having people who cared about her still felt kind of weird, but this was her supplier so she figured she ought to play nice. “Anyways, I'll take the butter this time. I'm planning on doing some special late-night home cooking for me and some squad mates of mine. So yeah, I'll definitely be eating at least. Don't worry about me.”

“Oh don't be silly, you're one of my favorite customers! Of course I'm going to worry just a bit!” the owner replied as she retrieved and bagged up Ymir's order, smiling as she received her payment. “I threw in a bit extra for you; make sure you cook up a lot and eat it all now. I'm sure your friends will be very happy to have someone like you to enjoy this very special dinner with!”

Ymir stood stunned for a minute before replying, forcing a crooked smile out. “Ahh, you know you don't have to do that. But, ahhhh, thank you. For, you know. Caring and shit.”

The owner reached out and gave Ymir's right cheek a big pinch. “You behave now and stay alive out there, dear. I'll see you again soon.”

“Count on it!” Ymir said as she walked out and waved goodbye, tucking her package into her satchel and picking up the pace on her return walk back. Tonight was going to be fucking amazing. A wide grin appeared under her bandanna as she saw the training base come back into view, the stars and moon just now fully out. It was the perfect time to get cooking; there was nary a trainee in sight and the higher ups had fucked off back to their offices for the day. The kitchen was empty as she wanted it to be and the pantry still had enough ingredients in it to make what she intended to. 

There was going to be steamed veggies in a butter sauce, scalloped potatoes, fries with garlic, and the warmest, sweetest brownies she could whip up, all deeply soaked in her special butter so much that even smelling it might get you buzzed. Ymir happily got all the supplies and ingredients out, portioning out the butter in right amounts to add to each dish and began to cook, smiling and singing quietly to herself as she stirred and spread everything around. Fuck, she loved potatoes. And chocolate. Especially when they got her high. But do you know who else loved potatoes? And who else loved chocolate? Why, her old friends Sasha and Christa! She ought to go see if they were awake while everything settles and invite them in for a second dinner.

Ymir began to tiptoe towards the barracks, her years of sneaking around making her silent and impossible to detect, making her way slyly over to Christa's bed first. Fuck, she was so damn cute sleeping. She was embracing Ymir's pillow and drooling a bit onto it, her golden hair messy, curled up like a child as she so gently snored. If it weren't for the fact others were around, Ymir would probably pop a boner right there and have to sneak back around to jerk it back down. Stupid cute goddess. But now was not the time for sex; if it came, it would come later. Well, something would be coming, alright. She shook her head and tried to empty it of foul thoughts as she tapped Christa on the shoulder, trying to rouse her quickly and quietly.

“Y-Ymir? You're back! Where have you bee---” Christa began, her mouth soon covered by Ymir's palm as she shushed her.

“Oi. Quiet, Christa. You hungry? I'm making brownies and shit since I missed dinner. You like chocolate, right?” whispered Ymir, using all her willpower to resist using a cheesy line such as 'since it's as sweet as you are' and risking further embarrassment. “If you want in, follow me, I could use the company. I insist.”

Christa just nodded in reply. Really, if Ymir's offering, she really shouldn't say no. It was a rare act of kindness for the tanned, freckled asshole and she was right, chocolate is fucking awesome and sounded really nice about now. The little goddess wiped her mouth of her drool and smiled, returning Ymir's pillow and fluffing it up a bit. 

“C-Chocolate? You made me chocolate?” said Christa, groggy and yawning wide, her mind focused on that one word. “Yeah, I'll come with you! Why would I say no to that?”

“Alright, wait outside. I'mma go get Sasha. I got something for her too. Trust me, you two will love it!” grinned Ymir, walking over to where Sasha was and watching with wide, curious eyes as she snored. Loud. Long. Rumbling snores. Nostrils flaring and quaking, body sprawled everywhere. What a dork. Ymir took two of her fingers and hooked them inside Sasha's nose and yanked on her, pulling her up and covering her mouth as well.

“MmMmmghfdh?” murmured Sasha, eyes wide in shock as her focus came in, the first thing she could recognize being Ymir's mischievous expression.

“Hey. Hick. Come with Christa and I. I made potatoes, two kinds of them! Wanna eat? You won't owe me anything for it.” whispered Ymir into Sasha's ear, every single word of her offer sounding perfectly tempting and seductive. 

Sasha just nodded her head up and down furiously, never more ready to agree to something in her life. She got out of Ymir's grip and ran out the door, greeting Christa and smiling wide, drool coming off her lips as her mind slowly changed to dreams of fluffy, creamy, soft potatoes of all sorts of shapes and textures being smeared about her person as she devoured them. Christa just saw it fit to stare at the hungry wonder of the world, making sure she didn't start gnawing on her arm or anything, giving an awkward wave hello before Ymir showed up again. The freckled lady's lips were curled in a wide grin, teeth over her bottom lip, eyes looking playful as she put one arm around Christa and the other around Sasha, leading them towards the mess hall.

“Everything should be done by the time you get there. Just have yourselves a seat anywhere and we'll feast together as comrades should! It's fucking communal and manly of us or something. Look, just eat the food, okay? I worked real hard on it and it's my super secret extra special recipe!” said Ymir, trying to hype her two friends up on the way in, pointing her hand towards the seats and letting them settle in before she made her way to the kitchen.

The two guests just sat and stared at each other, still half asleep, trying their best to smile and take it easy. And whatever was in the kitchen did smell awfully good; just where the hell did Ymir learn to cook like that and why didn't she more often? Oh well, it was all theirs, and an extra meal certainly wouldn't hurt them. Within a few minutes, Ymir came out with three plates balanced expertly on her arms, each loaded with a decent helping of the veggies, fries, potatoes, and a big thick gooey brownie each. After serving them, she ran back for 3 tall mugs and a pitcher of fresh, hot mulled cider that had yet to ferment, pouring everyone a big, full, murky glass of the best unfiltered juice the local farms had to offer. She sat down next to Christa and gave her cheek a big smooch, laughing a bit and declaring the meal ready to eat.

Ymir lead the way and began to chow down on everything, shoving forkful after forkful down her gullet, eager to get that weed in her before the food got cold, taking big, hearty swigs off her mug and smiling the biggest and brightest she had in ages. “Yo, you two, eat up, dig in, don't worry about manners here, just eat every last bit before it gets cold. You won't regret this!”

Sasha followed suit. Hey, may as well do what the host says. That and man, starches. A girl's best friend. Her eyes lit up as she began to pack the food inside of her, being careful to use the fries to sop up leftover butter and drippings and not wasting a drop. Her focus was so intense that it made the others laugh. “Oh wow, this is good, Ymir! You should make this more often, it's really flavorful! What did you put in it, though? I don't think I recognize the taste of one of the stronger seasonings in here.”

Christa ate her food with her usual reserve. Not that it wasn't fucking delicious, because it was, but habit and manners dictate that even a secret bedtime rendezvous for dinner should be a polite affair. Her eyes rolled around curiously as she nibbled and dabbed her mouth clean after each bite, taking small sips from her mug and hrming a bit as she finished her veggies and potatoes and starting on that chocolatey dessert she was promised. “You know, Sasha, I can't quite place it either. It's awfully good, but it has that curious hint of something new. Ymir, what is this?”

The freckled idiot pushed her empty plate to the side and took a long sip of cider, smiling and humming, resting on her elbow and thinking a second before answering. “It's called Backalley Seasoning, a favorite of mine for years now that evokes memories of my young teen years. It's a bit rare and somewhat expensive but makes any food this magical, almost relaxing treat so I was saving up for a batch to cook with and figured I'd share it with a few of my close friends here. Those who eat together stay together, right? Let's forget about the titans for a night and just feast, aye?”

The other two girls just nodded and finished their meals, sitting back full in their seats and smiling a bit. Ymir took their plates away, grossly licking off any buttery remnants for her own hedonistic consumption, not wanting to waste a drop, getting everything into the wash pile. Not a bit of leftovers in sight, everything was eaten as she had hoped. Now to just distract them and wait a bit for things to work. It wouldn't be too long; maybe an hour at most. She could function well enough under its effects as she was used to it, but to watch two girls new to it stumble through it was going to be the biggest treat of them all.

She came back and produced a deck of cards from her pocket, taking them out and sitting down to shuffle, dealing out five cards to each of them and grinning. “I hope nobody's in a hurry to get back. How often do us girls just get a night to ourselves? Let's take it easy a while and enjoy the evening without anyone else around.”

Sasha didn't particularly mind staying around and hanging out; the only other things to do at this time of night were sneak out, fap, or sleep and none of those really particularly interested her right now. Christa had a gut feeling that Ymir was up to something, but there was a small chance she was entirely wrong. You never really could tell with Ymir one way or the other until she got going with whatever her plan was. The tiny blonde figured she ought to at least keep an eye on her in case she tried anything stupid, like busting out the hard liquor she so expertly hid from Keith and forcing them all to do punishment shots and puke their way back to the barracks. They both carefully picked up their cards, Christa flustered and having exactly zero idea what she was to do with them, Sasha just smirking as she held hers and kicked up her feet onto the table.

The three played a few rounds of poker, Ymir begrudgingly teaching Christa the how-to as they went along, keeping them fully distracted. Sasha just grinned and kept managing next to impossible hands with incredible luck. Ymir, not above cheating to make herself come out on top, would occasionally pull an ace or three out of her sock and perform a “miraculous” comeback from out of nowhere. She only stopped when Christa stepped on her foot, having noticed her out of the corner of her eye, causing the freckled idiot to stop and try her best to play fair. Fair was boring, though, so she took the cards back and began to perform simple tricks with them, amusing her friends. The cards would flash by quick, barely seen in amazing flashes of shuffling, the sound echoing across the mess hall as she would pull their cards they picked out again from seemingly nowhere. She could construct whole card castles in an instant and knock them back into a shuffle almost instantly. Ymir was fucking magic.

Magic. Yeah. That was it.

It all began with what felt like a knot of fire in their bellies. Nothing hard. It wasn't nausea. It was just this intense, soothing warmth that soon took hold of them, tightening more and more until it burst and lit up like an inferno, spreading up and down all through their bodies. Their eyes went wide and soft, a light layer of glaze overcoming them, their heads and bodies feeling both heavy and lighter than ever; like they could fly if they tried. Colors were vivid, everything smelled and felt amazing, their movements gradually came to a crawl. Their hands explored their own heads and stomachs in this new sense of wonder, as if it was their first time feeling them, smiles miles wide spreading across their faces. The world became a dream and nothing hurt; all their training soreness and injuries slowly began to melt off them like wax into a void behind them. Even the drops of cider that danced on their tongues were now more amazing than ever. Life itself stopped for the three as a welcome tingling sensation covered their crotches and hearts both, embracing them in a close, sweet way like a lover would. At last, their brains stopped thinking so damn hard, able to let go and just be for the first time in a very very long time.

The titans didn't exist. War and Hell sure didn't. Only Sasha's smile, Christa's trying to find her balance, and Ymir's eyes staring at them both and her belly laughs existed or mattered.

“Haha, oh shit, you two are really fucking high, I can't believe it!” said Ymir, trying not to laugh too hard. She was far, far more used to the effects of weed to not stumble or lose her thought too much like these two newbies were, and she knew better than to be too loud this time of night lest the authorities chew her out for drug use.

“Well...High? I do feel kind of floaty, Ymir.” said Sasha, giving a thumbs up. “Was it the, uh, umm, the uh, Backdoor Spices?”

“Backalley Seasonings. And yes. You two just looked like you needed the very special effects it brings into your lives. I mean, fuck, look how happy you two are now! I'd say this is a success!” Ymir put one arm over each girl and grinned, her eyes and head a bit lopsided and beginning to tinge a soft red. “What about you, Christa? I think we should go on an adventure! Like, to the market! I know some people who could keep us busy and stuff.”

“Umm, uh, adventure? W-Wouldn't I need my sword or something?” asked Christa, genuinely confused. “What if titans or dragons attack?”

“Then we tell 'em to piss off for the night. Relax, you two, let your big sis Ymir show you the parts of the town you only wish you knew of sooner!” said Ymir, slowly leading them out the door until she was sure they could follow her on their own pairs of wobbly feet. “Hey, how you two feeling anyways? It's real nice, isn't it?”

“Hungry!” shouted Sasha. “Like, there's this big extra special hunger in me I never knew I could have! You got money for food stalls right? I feel like...I could eat the world.”

“You sound like a titan, Sasha. Perhaps I ought to sick the little titan slayer over here on you?” grinned Ymir, ruffling Christa's hair up slowly against her tanned palm.

“No, I don't want to, ah, kill Sasha. She's just hungry and burly, like a bull or something.” said Christa meekly, looking up at Ymir and tilting her head from side to side. “Hey Ymir. I can see the world in your freckles. It's kind of nice.”

Ymir stopped ruffling Christa's hair and blushed a bit, letting out the biggest pffft of her life and twirling in place to face the other way. “Tryin' to get in my pants already? Geeze, wait a while, mighty conqueror! We're going to the market. Go bug Sasha's freckles or something.”

“...I have freckles??” said Sasha in a mighty shock.

“Yeah. Twenty one of them. On your BUTT!” replied Ymir before cracking into hysterics.

“I can't even see myself back there, so thanks for counting, Ymir!” said Sasha, walking up and gripping Ymir's hand tight and shaking it. 

“Er, yeah. Sure. Now come on you two. I know where we're going first. It's a surprise, so follow me!” Ymir began to walk off towards the market, turning her head now and again to make sure they hadn't gotten lost in their own highs nor were any higher ups following them. At least the townspeople wouldn't care, as they were all in civilian garb, and very very unlikely to start shit thanks to sedative effects of the meds, making all of them quite incapable of anger or even annoyance.

The night was still early enough. The moon and stars were only now fully out and above them, the air just still warm enough, the crinkling of fresh autumn leaves crunching under their boots as they followed the dirt trail towards the nearest town. The air was so crisp and clean, all three of them taking deep breaths in, Ymir clinking a few coins in her pouch and enjoying the feeling of cool metal on her fingers. She began to whistle a small tune as she usually did when high, trying to remember one of the old bawdy showtunes she used to hear the prostitutes sing in bars to help lure people in with. 

Dirt roads soon became cobbled streets, and after passing through a few quiet residential roads, they arrived at a small but full market, still bustling and busy at all hours of the night. Ymir stopped at the edge of the market alley and raised her nose, inhaling deeply and letting out a deep, satisfied sigh. You could still smell the grease and sugars from the food stalls mixing with the sticky, dripping juices of the fresh fruit the farmers rolled on in. Metal and smoke and dirt underlay it all, the blacksmiths and other laborers rolling in their more pricey goods for the day. A sense of sweat and danger topped it all off, the seedier parts of the market off in a corner, well within Ymir's reddened eyesight.

What a time to be alive.

Christa and Sasha caught up in a few steps, their own eyes filled with wonder at everything. Was the market always this full or neat or good smelling? Maybe they just needed to stop by at a time like now that wasn't on official military business. Or maybe they just needed to be high and force their brains to not care for one night and just wander around happily as people and not soldiers. Either way, they stood next to Ymir expectantly, like two loyal dogs, each one of them taking one of Ymir's hands and smiling.

“Hey you two, I know a good place to get something sweet. I think we've earned it. Wanna try it? You won't fucking regret this one, trust me.” asked Ymir, taking their hands softly and leading them in. Her friends just smiled and nodded, trusting her to guide them through this magic wonderland of commerce and trade, the sound of boxes and coins rattling like an odd song echoing in their brains, where everyone was smiling and not finding it odd at all that three young ladies snuggling close as they walked were perusing their goods. After a few minutes of wandering and greeting strangers they may never see again, they stopped a small stall that was absolutely slathered in the smell of sweets and sugars. All they served was creamed honey, meant to be eaten raw by the spoon, and they had just enough left that Ymir could snatch it all up and make them all so happy.

Ymir quickly counted the money in her pocket and left enough on the counter for the rest of it and a tip, doing a fancy and inelegant bow to the owner, taking the tub of it over to a nearby bench and giving Sasha and Christa each a spoon, prying the food open and offering it up.

“Hey, eat up and share nice! This is some of the best tasting shit you're ever going to eat, and it's doubly amazing while stoned. Believe me.” Ymir said as she dug her own spoon in and lifted a huge mouthful of it up to her lips and took it all in, smearing it in her mouth around with her tongue and drooling a bit, eyes hazy as she just lost herself in the texture and tastes of the honey, letting it slowly melt and trickle down her throat and into her stomach. If she had any faith in her at all, this would be a religious experience, no doubt.

Sasha dug in eagerly, her stomach roaring, appetite supercharged by her dosage, taking up a bigger spoonful than Ymir had and taking huge sticky bites right off the spoon, chewing them noisily and slobbering down her front as she let it melt and swallow in huge globs. Man, Ymir knew where to find the best of everything. She'd have to remember this place, if her pot-addled brain could, and ask Ymir to take her here for her birthday next time it rolled around.

Christa took a few dainty bites, smiling as she let the first bit fall onto her tongue like mana from Heaven, letting it swish back and forth in her mighty collective of spit she had accumulated just from smelling how good this stuff was, swallowing it all and sighing in immense relief, taking her spoon and kissing it and licking it clean before double dipping and getting her sweet goddess cooties all over it. Ymir just figured it'd make it all sweeter. Fuck, Christa could drop her panties and take a huge piss in it and she'd still gobble up every last drop as if it was all sustaining. She was just that sweet.

The trio of stoners mulled over their mighty dessert a while, making sure to scrape up every drop on the sides of it and thanking the stall owner profusely as she packed up to go home. Poor woman had no idea why they were so unbelievably thankful and amazed for simply serving them sugars, but it was the highest praise she ever received and she wasn't about to complain about it. With their stomachs full, at least for now, Ymir grabbed their hands once more and began leading them to a dark corner underneath a nearby stairway.

“Yanno, I think it was time you two met some old friends of mine. They took care of me when I was but a wee, bratty Ymir. You'll love 'em, they taught me everything I know now!” said the freckled wonder as she opened a door nearby, pulling Sasha and Christa in and quickly shutting them in so nobody would see them. 

Inside was a place, dimly lit with a bright center stage, a small bar off to the side, a few seats and tables near the middle, and a couple halls leading towards the back. Everything was this rustic dark wood color, smelling thickly of smoke and alcohol and perfumes. Gaudy decorations of satin and fur were strung up everywhere with a small and dingy phonograph running a tune at light volume located in the corner. Place was empty, save for them and a bartender, with Ymir inviting them all in to take a seat with her to chat the worker up. This place seemed odd, otherworldly to Christa and Sasha, them having no idea places like this existed outside books and rumors.

“Hey, Luciana.” said Ymir to the bartender, leaning her elbow onto the counter and smooshing her hand to her face, grinning wide, eyes red and swirling. “Long time no see.”

“....Ymir? Is that really you?” replied the bartender, sounding suitably shocked. “You haven't been by since you joined the military! How you been? Good to see you still around and kickin'!”

“Ahh you know, same old same old. Brought some friends in to meet you guys since I'm feeling nostalgic for my old home. We were just wandering around enjoying everything and I just thought, man, you know who I haven't seen in a while? The crew of The Ship of Fools.” replied Ymir, putting a hand on both her friends' heads, rubbing their hair. “Short one's Christa and she's mine. Other one's Sasha, she's a tough old hick.”

“Oh? Did you finally meet someone, Ymir? I knew you could do it. All of us were hoping you found yourself a better life fighting than you ever did working for us. But there have been days where it just hasn't felt the same without your presence.” said Luciana as she reached out and pinched Ymir's cheek, laughing a bit. “Shall I go fetch your old friend, Nicola?”

“Yeah, bring her out.” said Ymir as she leaned in to the bartender's ear and began whispering. “And bring us three shots of the special tea. We're baked but I wanna make sure it lingers until dawn. That should be enough to keep 'em tanked.”

Luciana just nodded, Ymir slipping her a few coins, bringing three glasses out and getting the tea going before heading to the back to retrieve the others, telling them to help themselves. Ymir just grinned and waited for it to steep well and thick, humming along to the phonograph.

“Hey, wait, where are we? What kind of place is this, Ymir? It's like we stepped into a dream or something.” asked Sasha, amused by how her own hand felt running through her own hair, smiling. 

“This is The Ship of Fools. It's, ah, a theater. Cabaret. Bar. House of ill repute and bad morals.” replied Ymir, testing a bit of how the tea tasted on a finger and hrming a bit.

“You used to work here? That's what that nice lady said, right? So that's where that song came from, I thought it sounded awfully close to the ones you sing on those days you're all free and happy.” inquired Christa, eager to sip the tea, unaware of its properties.

Ymir began to pour and recount her years here.

“Before I joined the military and met you guys, I was a little shit who got in a lot of trouble. The women here sorted me out and helped me find food and a place to sleep in exchange for me guarding them during work hours and mugging anyone who tried to leave without paying. It wasn't the prettiest work, but it was home.”

Ymir paused and took a swig of her tea, watching her friends slowly sip at theirs and try to figure out what it was made of. Poor girls drank it down, letting it relax them wholly. It was then Luciana came back with a girl Ymir instantly recognized as her old friend, Nicola, having aged quite nicely since she last saw her. She tried her damnedest not to blush, the tea and the drugs in her making it almost impossible not to.

“N-Nicola...” gulped Ymir, extending her hand and staring down at her own feet.

“Ymir? You're alive?” replied the girl, running in and giving Ymir a big, tight hug. “Oh gosh, it is you! Smelling as rank as ever. You drugged again? Geeze, you never know when too much of that stuff is enough for you. But ahh, I've missed you!”

Poor Ymir froze in place, awkwardly trying to figure out where to place her hands on her friend. What's hugging? What's closeness? Oh god what if she got a weed boner from this and Christa saw it? She eventually set her arms around her in return gently, patting her back, sweating a bit from nerves. Maybe that tea was a bit too strong. Or maybe her stupid friend shouldn't have grown up to be so hot.

“Um, yeah. I'm alive. No titan's gonna want to eat someone as horrible as me. Not anytime soon, at least. You're, ah, looking well. I thought you were gonna quit this place though and stop selling yourself once you paid off your debt though? Shouldn't it be done by now?” asked Ymir, trying her best to pry herself away.

“Kind of hard to beat free room and board. Don't worry about me, Ymir. I'm a lot tougher than I look. Or could it be you're worried about me for more personal reasons? Hm? I remember a certain brat telling me a few years ago she'd break in and save me so she could marry me and have me all to herself, once upon a time.” replied Nicola, teasing the poor freckled woman in her arms.

“Shit! Don't bring that up! I was fourteen, dammit! I didn't know what that meant then! B-Besides, I'm gonna marry Christa now, so sorry. You'll have to find someone else.” Ymir turned hell of red, fidgeting and finally getting free, breathing heavy and crossing her arms. “Just...promise me if things go bad you find a way to let me know, okay? I owe you.”

“Aww, darn. Part of me was hoping my big brave Ymir would come by with a sword and horse and carry me off into the sunset. A pity, but you treat the woman you found right.” Nicola sat down next to them and shook hands with Sasha and Christa. Christa huffed her cheeks; how dare this hussy come in and demand Ymir marry her, old friend or not?! Sasha, however, had a case of the giggles from her tea, and blurted out the worst possible thing at the worst possible time.

“Hey Ymir. Is this your ex or something?” Sasha's smile went wide and devious.

“Go to Hell, Sasha! She was never my girlfriend! We just...kissed once. Just once. And she let me touch her boob. Look, I said I was fourteen! I figured, you know, maybe a hooker would know how to kiss better than some random schoolgirl. I was curious! It was hormones! It was drugs! It was...”

“Don't...Don't listen to that, ah, succubus, Ymir! I'll protect you!” Christa interrupted Ymir, jumping wobbily in front of her and trying to push Nicola away. Her brain and muscles were far too relaxed and far too gone to make much of an impact, though, more amusing than harmful.

“Aww, is this your girlfriend? She's trying to protect you even though the lot of you are so drugged you can't even see straight? Though I suppose nothing about you was ever straight, was it, Ymir?” smirked Nicola. “Should I tell them about the time I caught you looking at periodicals full of naked women with your pants down and that's how we all knew you were gay, or?”

“I'm gonna shit, I swear.” groaned Ymir, picking Christa up and hugging her, calling Sasha over. “Look, I just wanted to make sure you guys were alright. We can shame me some other day. We got shit to do and colors to see so I'll check in later. You know where to find me.”

The stoner trio began to walk towards the door, Ymir looking back only once. “You haven't changed. Good. Stay that way. It was nice seeing you, if only for a minute.”

“Good seeing you too, Ymir. Maybe next time you could come by on that horse instead of on a high horse.” giggled Nicola. Ymir just raised a sturdy middle finger to her as they closed the door and left.

The three got some distance away before laying down together on a bench, their heads spinning from the brief visit in. The night sky was a wonder to look at, them tracing lines with their fingers aimlessly, the weed from the tea washing through them and warming them all over again.

“Now I remember why I left.” murmured Ymir. “Never work in a whorehouse more than a year, okay? That's today's lesson.”

“Ymir...” Christa clung to Ymir's arm, sounding a bit worried. “...When you worked there...were you a whore? A lesbian whore? Do those exist?”

“Whaaat? When did the goddess learn such dirty dirty words? And nah, I was just a bodyguard. Couldn't catch me putting forth the effort to sleep around that much. I prefer violence!” joked Ymir, smooching Christa's forehead messily and sniffing her hair. “Fuck, you're so cute. What did I ever see in that nasty old Nicola anyways? I prefer cuties like you.”

The two began to get close and cuddle, making half closed, drugged, reddened bedroom eyes at each other. Man, public sex sounded awesome about now. Who cares if they got caught? It'd show Ymir had bigger brass balls than any of the men in the regiment, especially if she did it to their beloved goddess. The freckled woman slipped a hand up Christa's shirt and began to grope around, inhaling her scent and grinning sly and sloppy, drooling a bit.

Sasha got up and began to watch in curiosity. If they went through with it, they'd need a witness, and if nothing else, hey, a free show. Sasha was no stranger to peeking in on them now and again, waggling her eyebrows and egging the two lovers on.

“Permission to desecrate a goddess.” asked Ymir, thinking it was the coolest sex line she ever used. She should contribute to those sex magazines and help people get into each others' pants. That'd be the ticket. More weed money for her would roll in and she could roll up.

It was then a shadow...sort of appeared on Sasha's back. It wasn't so much it partially blocked out some moonlight so much as the lightest sound of feet approaching startled the farm girl, making her freeze in place and slowly turn her head behind her, noticing someone's presence eking ever closer. It was short, it was stern, it wore a cape of green, its eyes unblinking.

It was Corporal Levi.

“Permission denied, soldier.” replied Levi to Ymir, thinking himself oh so clever for pulling that one off. “Just what the hell do you three think you're doing here at this hour anyways? Shouldn't you all be asleep? I should probably just arrest you and hand you over to Hanji or something.”

He leaned in and gave Ymir and Christa each a long, nasty look, Ymir's hand quickly finding its way back out of Christa's shirt and behind her back, trying not to piss herself. Shit, he could probably smell how high they were. There was no way they could hide it. And from what she had heard from others, Hanji's drug testing methods were hell to go through. She didn't want any fucking part of her scraped with an anything. Her legs closed up almost instinctively, ass clenching, as she began to freak out a bit internally. Think fast, Ymir.

“Goooood evening, officer corporal short-man sir!” yeah that was exactly the most incorrect possible thing to say. “I mean, ahh, fuck.”

“Are you high, soldier?” asked Levi, noticing the smell of weed off Ymir's breath as she nervously plead for her innocence, seeing how bloodshot her eyes were and how much Sasha and Christa were beginning to panic, their eyes equally red. “Do you know what I do to soldiers that are this high in public?”

“...Don't send my Hanji, sir, I don't want no q-tip up my slit.” squeaked Ymir, sweat rolling down her face. “I, uh, won't do it again? Teenage mistake?”

“...What the hell are you talking about, soldier? I was just gonna ask if you...”

“Sasha, Christa, run! It's the cops!” Ymir interrupted before Levi could finish. Frustrated, he took his hand and grabbed her by the ponytail, sighing.

“Look. I'm only gonna ask you this once. Who's your dealer? I could make do with it myself. Tell me where I can buy some and get your scrawny asses back towards the barracks and I'll pretend I never saw you.” groaned Levi, angry that he had to put his hand on someone just to get the point across again. This would require a good scrubbing later. “Trust me. As someone who used to dabble in it, I know why you'd need it. This war is an endless Hell and you all just wanted off it for a minute. That's as human as it gets. I don't blame you for this shit.”

“S-Seriously? You do it too? Well, there's this sweet old lady round the corner from the blacksmith here, just tell her Ymir sent you okay?” Ymir half-smiled. Levi dropped her back down and huffed a bit, walking off without another word.

“What in the fresh hell was that?” blinked Ymir. “Shit, though, we better get back. We can sit behind the bathhouse and build a campfire and talk more there. I don't want this night to be over yet, but I ain't risking your guys' cute asses over it.”

Ymir picked Christa up off the bench and brushed her off, lingering a bit too long around her hips and ass, grinning and giggling a bit as she pinched at her, going over to check Sasha and copping a feel there too. 

“Well, your asses are intact. Let's get going!” Ymir took their hands and tried to make her way back to the barracks with them quickly, finding it a bit hard to coordinate that quickly with that much pot still coursing through her. They almost tumbled away constantly, sashaying down the dirt roads, Ymir slowly beginning to sing in full. Christa and Sasha tried their best to sing along, making up the lyrics as they went, fumbling over each others' timing and laughing as they filled the stagnant night air with their wobbling voices.

Eventually they came across the sight of their camp once more, singing more and not caring if they woke anyone, stumbling about to find some leaves and twigs and sitting back where nobody would see them, lighting their dry pile aflame and letting the orange lights enchant them with its endless flickering. Their stoned minds focused on it, swirling colors wholly embracing them, the warmth making them smile and cuddle close, Ymir in the middle as she pet the other two girls' hair. This is what it meant to be alive, to be close, to be human with each other. Maybe all this wasn't so bad after all, if they could do this now and again.

They didn't know it but they slowly started to focus away from the flames and onto the lights that reflected in each others' eyes, just lingering and smiling, like lovers alone for the first time in ages. They all sat up groggily, their minds and hearts warm and racing just a bit as Ymir pulled Christa in for a sweet, deep kiss, her other hand busy scratching Sasha's chin like a dog, lingering on her beloved Goddess' lips for a good moment, slobbery and nibbly.

Ymir parted lips with Christa after a bit, turning to face Sasha and grinning, planting her mouth on Sasha's forehead and down her nose and cheeks until she met with the farm girl's lips, stroking Christa's hair in her free hand. Hey, she didn't taste half bad after all. May as well stick her tongue in and explore a bit, tasting the remnants of their dinner, tea, and honey all over her. Her hand brushed against Sasha's shoulder, warming them as she pulled her mouth away and licked her own lips.

“Heh, that should do it.” said Ymir, waiting to see how the two girls would react. If Ymir knew anything about pot, it's that it was incredibly easy to make someone horny on it. Even just a simple deep kiss would render them wet and helpless. If she was lucky, she could score a hot threesome out of this evening. But first, a free show.

Both Christa and Sasha slowly began to process what just happened, their bodies telling them for them, their skin prickling hot and their slits moistening just a bit. Ymir grinned wide, waggling her eyebrows, pushing the two girls together and seeing if they'd make out for her. She could just stroke herself off while they prepped each other and she could join in when it got really fun. Finally, a dream of hers she could only have with her right hand was about to be fulfilled!

Sasha put her arms over Christa's shoulders, pulling her in and leaning in for a kiss. Christa giggled and tried her best to look cute and inviting, leaning back in and cuddling. Ymir watched with great intent, leaning in and unbuttoning her pants. Come on you two, fuck for mama, aww yeah. Or, they would have, if it weren't for the fact the two of them just sort of...nuzzled and started snoring.

You had got to have been shitting Ymir at this point. So close, and yet so far. There was no way in hell she'd be able to wake them up either with how drugged they were. Shit, maybe she shouldn't have fed them so much. She sighed and looked over at them, tapping them and waving her hand in front of their faces. Not a peep. They were gone, and so were Ymir's chances of a hot public threesome. Talk about a complete and instant boner kill.

“You two. Should've guessed it'd happen. My own fucking fault. Maybe next time.” whispered Ymir, half frustrated, and half too tired to give a shit. She laid her two friends down and got in between them, holding them close to her chest and sighing as she stroked their hair. A wave of sleepiness washed over her and she let out a huge, long yawn. Damn, seems like even if things had gone as she planned, she might have crashed too. Next time, stoner sex before stoner snacks. Within seconds of closing her eyes, Ymir passed out hard, snoring deep alongside her friends.

Dawn came and none of them woke. People walking by to use the baths didn't wake them. The breakfast bell didn't, and when they didn't show up for a meal, they knew something was wrong. Eventually Mikasa found them, kicking them awake, wondering what the hell they had been doing out here all night and how tired could someone be to miss that stupid noisy bell? Eventually they trudged into breakfast, their eyes still a bit shot, but their brains mostly in the right by now. They slowly ate their meal and drank their coffee, feeling their bodies warm and wake once more.

“Hey Ymir, can we do that again sometime?” blurted out Sasha. “I had a lot of fun! And I got to learn a bit about you, finally.”

“Yeah, I agree. Last night was...it was pleasant. Everything felt good for the first time in ages. If you don't mind cooking for us again with your special ingredients.” smiled Christa, her blush making Ymir almost melt in her seat.

“You guys don't care I wasn't completely honest with you about drugging you?” whispered Ymir, eyes wide with surprise.

“You could stand to be a bit more honest, but it wasn't hard to figure out once it hit. We knew you just wanted to have some more time with us. You know, it's okay to ask if you want us to do these kinds of things with you, you don't need these elaborate plans!” laughed Sasha, crumbs on her face.

“Well, it wouldn't be Ymir if it wasn't an elaborate scheme. Still though, yeah, next time there's a lull, I suppose I'd be free to keep an eye on you again while we adventure.” Christa said as she elbowed Ymir gently in the ribs.

“....I suppose then it's worth saving my coins up for. It's a date, okay?” grinned Ymir, ruffling the two girls hair and giving both of them a kiss on the cheek.

The rest of the 104th would never have any idea what in the fuck made those three so happy together, a few of them outright jealous of those kisses Ymir lovingly lavished on those ladies. But if it kept the mighty freckled asshole at bay, then they knew to be wise and let it be. 

That's one giant they didn't feel like conquering ever.


End file.
